Read the full article by Andy Borowitz on NewYorker.com 

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The pornography industry has likely suffered permanent damage as a result of its unfortunate association with the Texas senator Ted Cruz, industry sources said on Tuesday.Porn, which takes in annual profits of fifteen billion dollars, could see those revenues decimated if, as some industry experts fear, users begin to have intrusive thoughts involving Senator Cruz.

“For porn producers, this is a crisis with no simple solution,” Harland Dorrinson, an industry insider, said. “If you warn viewers not to think about Ted Cruz, there’s a real danger that that’s all they’ll think about.”

In the hours since porn first became associated with the Texas senator, traffic to porn sites has plummeted in what industry sources are ruefully calling “the Cruz effect.”

“I’ve enjoyed porn for years and never dreamed that anything could ruin the experience for me,” Davis Logsdon, a porn user from Minnesota, said. “Thanks a lot, Ted Cruz.”

Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. In 2001, he created the Borowitz Report, a satirical news column that has millions of readers around the world, for which he won the first-ever National Press Club award for humor. Follow him on Twitter.

 

*The clip has been identified as being from Moms Bang Teens 20 from Reality Kings, featuring Cory Chase, Bruce Venture, and Avalon Heart

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