A Challenge to the Sex Industry: Show People That Sex Has No Expiration Date (XBIZ)

Read the full article by Julia Margo at XBIZ.com 

It’s hard enough to find sexy representations of older people on your average stock photo site, let alone your average porn site. The media we consume asks us to believe that “sexy” equals “young.” But that’s not only untrue, it’s harmful. And we in the pleasure industry must be at the forefront of tackling this myth.

One of the things that caught my eye in the news this month was the story about Erika Lust’s new project, “Soulsex,” in which sex educators Annie and John discuss their sex life in an in-depth interview before having sex together on camera. Annie and John teach courses on the Art and Science of Loving Relationships. What’s more, they are both in their early 70s.

When I saw this news, I was elated! It’s rare to see older people featured in adult films in a way that isn’t overtly fetishized — where their passion can be the star of the show. It’s important to me on a personal level, as it should be to everyone: with luck we will all grow old, and as we get older we should be able to continue enjoying sex and masturbation without shame or societal stigma. As Erika Lust puts it when describing “Soulsex”:

“I want to make seniors visible again in the public discussions about sex and pleasure and I want them to be represented in porn. People think that older bodies can't possibly be sexy or desirable because we have been fed the message through advertising, television and films that only young bodies are attractive. It's time we start shifting how we view senior sex.”

But where does this stigma come from? Why does society spread the false message that sex has a “best before” date? Perhaps it’s partly down to an inherent discomfort with the idea of parents or grandparents having sex. As Robert Heinlein once said: “each generation thinks it invented sex. Each generation is wrong.” Younger people often dislike thinking about older people having sex, because it reminds them of their parents or grandparents. Well I’m sorry to have to break it to you but parents can — and do — continue to have sex long after our children are grown up.