Tips For Dealing With Holiday Loneliness

composed by Lotus Lain 

Create Content!
If you’re a performer or even a producer of adult online content, you can use this slow period to create more awesome content. Solos, fetish, ASMR, whatever it is, try jumping into a new sector or trying out a new technology you’ve been avoiding. Instead of working off the same apps and platforms, learn how to navigate new ones to maximize your revenue into the new year.

Finances
Don’t feel ashamed to be open about gift-giving when you can’t afford it. Instead of struggling to buy gifts, create a simple holiday ornament craft for your loved ones. You’ll be surprised by who ends up keeping them and cherishing them throughout the years. 

You can also bake holiday treats like cookies or candy cane brownies. People love treats around this season and you could perfect your baking skills while being social and spreading joy. 

Sadness and Grief
If you’re feeling down, research shows that warmth improves mood. If you’re sad or lonely, treat yourself to a warm bath, long hot shower, or hot cup of coffee or tea.

Spend time alone to reflect and grieve, if necessary. Ignoring your feelings can lead to depression. Let yourself feel whatever it is you are feeling: validate it, without judging yourself, without needing to change the feeling. It doesn’t mean you have to like the feeling, but think about what you can learn from yourself if you don’t try to just mask what you feel.

Reach out to others who also may be lonely. Reconnect. If you don’t have someone to be with, volunteer to help those in need. It can be uplifting and gratifying. Plus you’ll be surrounded by many others with uplifted holiday spirits. 

Let It Out
Talk to people! If you don’t have anyone close or feel comfortable opening up to them, try opening up to your followers online. You never know who can offer sage words of advice that may be just what you need to hear. 

If you don’t want your followers to know how you’re feeling, try speaking to a therapist if available, or even posting anonymously to thread or page that has supportive members who would listen.

Self Care
Take care of your Physical, Mental, Spiritual, and Emotional self. Meditate, exercise, laugh, relax. 

Expectations
Keep in mind, most people don’t have holidays that happen to go down as if in a movie. No party invites? No boyfriend? No surprise engagement? Who cares?! What about hosting a pajama movie marathon with a couple friends? When it comes to holiday plans, or anything else for that matter, make up your own traditions!

No Plans
Maybe you didn’t really make plans for the holidays—after all, if you’re lonely, then you probably waited for others to call or reach out to you. If you’d really like to spend the days around Christmas with others, it’s not too late to do something about it. You could post something as simple as, “No plans for Christmas—anyone want to hang out?” 

Avoid
Try to avoid dating apps or jumping into a new relationship too hastily. The holidays are hard for many people to manage. You do not want to lead anyone on or be led on once the desperation for holiday affection wears off in the slow month of January. 

Cut back on social media to cut back on the feeling of FOMO. The less you see others having all this fun you perceive yourself to be missing out on, the easier it will be to reduce your anxiety around not being included or able to afford attending.

If you’re lonely this holiday season, you’re not alone. Remind yourself that  this is a temporary feeling. Keep in touch with those you care about. You never know if they were waiting to hear from you too! 

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National Institute of Mental health (NIMH)
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American Psychological Association
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American Psychiatric Association
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