Write It Down
If you or someone you know has experienced a consent violation, it is difficult to work through the range of challenges this may bring. This should not have happened and is never the victim’s fault. FSC wants to do what we can to prevent this and provide resources for folks who have experienced assault. Writing down your experience, or otherwise recording what happened can be a way of preserving details when it’s fresh, in case you want to share it later. However, recording your experience comes with risks.
What Are the Benefits?
Writing down what happened can preserve details that you might later forget.
Writing it down helps you organize your thoughts, which can be helpful after a traumatic event.
Even if you don’t ever share it, writing it can help you process trauma, and can reassure you later if someone accuses you of misremembering.
Writing it down can help if you need to talk with someone, whether that be a friend, a colleague, a therapist, a journalist, an HR person, or law enforcement.
A statement written soon after the event can be a helpful starting point for a declaration or other legal statement.
A written statement can help you report to police, if you decide to move forward with a criminal complaint.
What are the potential risks?
Once it’s written down, it’s possible others might see it or share it.
A written statement may not include everything, such as things that occur to you later, which could weaken a legal argument.
If you include alcohol or drug use in writing that other people might see, a written statement could potentially be used against you.
If you decided to proceed with a criminal or civil case, your written statement could be subpoenaed and possibly used against you. It will be viewed by the perpetrator and their attorney.
Writing it down means reliving what happened.
If you remember something later, an earlier version could make you cast doubt on your own memory. You’re unlikely to remember everything at once.
What else should I know?
When faced with trauma, it’s normal not to remember everything at once.
You should take steps to protect anything you’ve written. Do not write it or leave it anywhere where someone might easily find it — such as your phone. Take steps to encrypt it.
Another option is to talk with an attorney or therapist to document what happened. They can help take down the details, and are required to keep your information confidential.
How do I know if I experienced a consent violation?
Was your consent freely given?
Did you feel comfortable taking back your consent, or saying no after you had already agreed to an action?
Were you fully informed of what would take place at the time you gave your consent?
Did you agree enthusiastically?
Were the ramifications of the action specific to time, place, compensation, exc.?
If you answered no to any of these questions, it is likely you experienced a consent violation. Remember that consenting to an action should be reversible at any time and should reflect mutual respect of all parties participating.
How do I proceed when I'm ready?
You can record your thoughts in a journal or a text document.
If it’s easier, you might consider making a voice or video recording of your account.
More resources:
Callisto offers a whisper network that can connect sexual assault survivors, allow you to record your experience, and match your experience with others using an online tool that can detect repeated offenders. For more information check out their site linked here.
FSC INSPIRE: Industry Newcomer Support Program is a program designed to support folks getting into the adult industry. INSPIRE offers resources, awareness and a guide for newcomers to be informed and aware of their rights as sex workers.
Download the Time's Up incident report template